Oh, Billie- right on time for me. This is gorgeous. Oy, heartbreak- but if the writing is never wasted then the living isn’t either. I think living our rough drafts may be what we’re actually doing here, which makes me wonder who is reading our polished work? Maybe those who love us and see us as polished anyway? So glad we don’t have to do it alone- my heart aches for you for the loneliness that brought you to this fire. But look- Fire!
Thanks for reminding me to trust we can begin again, and for Z’s “Aggressively Not Afraid.”
That fear likes to fill up the space I’d rather hold open for the softness of possibility. At my weakest I find I get anxious when I don’t feel anxious because that weight of anxiety is oddly comfortable, like a weighted blanket—that fear that says it is protecting you like a friend when it is really the one holding you back.
Grateful for you, your bravery and vulnerability in sharing here, your words, your stories with Z and yourself. And happy to read you in stereo today at WITD, too!
Billie, So potent to talk about fear. When it is gone, I forget about it completely, then...the wolf is at the door. It is such a human experience. Is there a single human being who has not felt fear? So many kinds of it - the kind that threatens our physical existance or the physical existance of someone we love deeply - like when my 29 year old daughter was diagnosed with a very aggressive leukemia while traveling in Denmark. I couldn't breathe for months. Then, there is the fear that lives in the psyche - no one can see it. But it is so alive and foreign and menacing, and I lived with that for a couple years and it also stole my breath, a snake that wrapped itself around my solar plexus, crushing my will. Thank you for making this real again. For me, I am grateful to have spent many years meeting it in the dark and getting to know it and inviting it to tell me what it needs to say. For me, it was the only way, to make it a friend. And still, some fear is very useful and also a friend. May you find peace.
thank you for this. you are so right--fear is inevitable and constant. we are always dancing on the edge of losing and catching our breath. i wrote a line very similar to the snake one this past--trying to describe the feeling in my insides, i'll see if i can hunt it down. but in the meantime thank you for reading & seeing & sharing. wishing you your own peace as well. xx
Billie, beautiful! Thank you. I was feeling a shrinking and stuckness in whirlygig mind and have been asking how I can embrace possibility as a writer and a human. This is liberating and playful and leaves room for delight and infinite unconditional love. Keep writing! 💛✨🙏🏽
YES to embracing possibilities as a writer and a human. i have been thinking so so much about what it means to truly stay open to the universe, to see the things that already are. lots of learning to keep doing, but lots of potential for joy along the way
This is so perfect, Billie. In all the ways. Honest and open. Unguarded. A love letter to yourself, to Z, and to your readers, your lovely family and friends. Step work has changed my life. My gratitude has no limits. It took me years to get where I am I’m so grateful for who I am and that I get to create a life centered on creativity. I’m so happy to be a part of the SCHOOL community. So much magic if we’re paying attention. Thank you
Oh, Billie- right on time for me. This is gorgeous. Oy, heartbreak- but if the writing is never wasted then the living isn’t either. I think living our rough drafts may be what we’re actually doing here, which makes me wonder who is reading our polished work? Maybe those who love us and see us as polished anyway? So glad we don’t have to do it alone- my heart aches for you for the loneliness that brought you to this fire. But look- Fire!
Thanks for reminding me to trust we can begin again, and for Z’s “Aggressively Not Afraid.”
That fear likes to fill up the space I’d rather hold open for the softness of possibility. At my weakest I find I get anxious when I don’t feel anxious because that weight of anxiety is oddly comfortable, like a weighted blanket—that fear that says it is protecting you like a friend when it is really the one holding you back.
Grateful for you, your bravery and vulnerability in sharing here, your words, your stories with Z and yourself. And happy to read you in stereo today at WITD, too!
yesss--we get so used to the fear and anxiety pressing in our chest it can feel strange to let them go. we have to re-learn our center of gravity.
Oooh- that’s it.
Living our rough drafts - yes 👏💛
right? that part. <3
Billie, So potent to talk about fear. When it is gone, I forget about it completely, then...the wolf is at the door. It is such a human experience. Is there a single human being who has not felt fear? So many kinds of it - the kind that threatens our physical existance or the physical existance of someone we love deeply - like when my 29 year old daughter was diagnosed with a very aggressive leukemia while traveling in Denmark. I couldn't breathe for months. Then, there is the fear that lives in the psyche - no one can see it. But it is so alive and foreign and menacing, and I lived with that for a couple years and it also stole my breath, a snake that wrapped itself around my solar plexus, crushing my will. Thank you for making this real again. For me, I am grateful to have spent many years meeting it in the dark and getting to know it and inviting it to tell me what it needs to say. For me, it was the only way, to make it a friend. And still, some fear is very useful and also a friend. May you find peace.
thank you for this. you are so right--fear is inevitable and constant. we are always dancing on the edge of losing and catching our breath. i wrote a line very similar to the snake one this past--trying to describe the feeling in my insides, i'll see if i can hunt it down. but in the meantime thank you for reading & seeing & sharing. wishing you your own peace as well. xx
Billie, beautiful! Thank you. I was feeling a shrinking and stuckness in whirlygig mind and have been asking how I can embrace possibility as a writer and a human. This is liberating and playful and leaves room for delight and infinite unconditional love. Keep writing! 💛✨🙏🏽
YES to embracing possibilities as a writer and a human. i have been thinking so so much about what it means to truly stay open to the universe, to see the things that already are. lots of learning to keep doing, but lots of potential for joy along the way
Beautifully expressed. The be-ing and noticing. The glimmers and everyday life sparks!
Thank you for this Billie. You just cracked something open for me. I'm looking at fear today in a new way.
!!! well, that's very cool. happy always to share with you here in this space. fear is such a force, but so are you. xx
This is so perfect, Billie. In all the ways. Honest and open. Unguarded. A love letter to yourself, to Z, and to your readers, your lovely family and friends. Step work has changed my life. My gratitude has no limits. It took me years to get where I am I’m so grateful for who I am and that I get to create a life centered on creativity. I’m so happy to be a part of the SCHOOL community. So much magic if we’re paying attention. Thank you
So so beautiful my friend.